Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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