It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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