shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
