Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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