singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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