Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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