My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
