my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
do herpes really smell.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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