remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize