nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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