apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
