He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
