what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
