Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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