i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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