no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize