I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
