I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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