I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The best revenge is premature balding
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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