Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
