I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
