Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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