Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I didn't notice because vodka
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
