Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Randomize
