yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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