Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
