You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
