oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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