That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
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Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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