i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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