ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
