my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
jump out the window naked night went bad
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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