belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
