Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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