Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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