there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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