dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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