Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
