We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
do herpes really smell.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
