i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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