Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
