it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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