i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
