You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
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I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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