Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
