You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
