I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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