i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
They are going to name an STD after you.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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