i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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