I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
