dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
