3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
