as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
