Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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