My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
