I want to have your abortion
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
