He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
