just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
