Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
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Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
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