The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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